Friday, October 11, 2013

Overcoming the Shutdown Crisis: Helping Dysfunctional Politicians with Family Psychology

Guest blogger: Dr. Linda Miles

I am openly dismayed and disillusioned by the behavior of many of our Congressional officials. Our politicians are exhibiting almost every serious problematic behavior I’ve dealt with as a Marriage Counselor and Family Psychotherapist for over 35 years. In the scramble for political advantage, keeping score has become more important than the welfare of our country

I think it’s time they started dealing with our national problems as mature adults and true professionals. The behaviors we are seeing match the seven classical hallmarks found in dysfunctional families everywhere:

1. Shame and Blame;

2. Scapegoating;

3. Contempt;

4. Defensiveness;

5. Gridlock;

6. Stonewalling;

7. Show Downs.

Finger pointing has become more important than solving the real problems. There is no respect being given and no meaningful exchange of ideas. Our politicians resist flexibility and are unwilling to try and reach synergistic solutions together. Energy is devoted primarily to staying in “Attack Mode”.

Have we not yet learned better strategies for conducting our political life? What is it going to take?

I believe that political leaders can solve the nation’s problems if they take a deep breath and agree to use the same techniques used by healthy families to overcome conflict everywhere.

Healthy families deal with conflict by facing the issues and fighting fairly. We must demand our leaders conduct themselves civilly, and conduct and maintain healthy relationships with each other.

We must demand effective leadership and honest, open, sincere authentic and meaningful communication.

We must demand that our elected officials leaders work together to solve problems, prevent harm, and provide mutual respect, even when they do not agree on ideas.

We need people to cool things off and take action to remove the immediate threat of the crisis, we need to see cool heads prevail and keep others from turning on one another.

We need people on all sides of the controversies to be willing to listen to each other’s pain and be willing to help one another.

Dr. Linda Miles, Tallahassee, Florida, www.drlindamiles.com

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